I'm Sorry

I am sorry that I cannot love you when you hate your job and most of your friends are one step ahead of you, leaving this small town to the big city in search of whatever you are looking for, too. I am sorry that I do not know when you always rambled about everything that you hate, is actually the way how you showed me that I may be the only thing that's left for you to, even in the least bit, love. That it is the way how you let me in, and maybe, the way you asked for help. I am sorry that I cannot push away these spineless thoughts of you and me, and stay; to see you as a human, not a knight in shining armour. Don't you know you have the potential of a thousand suns yet you only let the light shine less brighter than a single candle in a dark room? I am sorry that I cannot see beyond the three hours past midnight phone calls when you are few drinks in. I am sorry that I cannot save you because I am still finding myself, too. I am sorry that I chose not to love you — although I would like to love you; hell, maybe I should, but I'm afraid I couldn't.